Sone - You can do this! Listen to what everybody says -- some of which sounds harsh, I know -- and remember what Nietzsche said, "If it does not kill me, it will only make me stronger." Treatment will not kill you (cancer will) -- remember childbirth?? Remember how much you wanted your children and the pain you went through to have them...and now you will have to go through more pain to keep them, but it's worth it!

Everybody on this forum speaks from experience and a place of love and compassion. They all want you to GO BACK - find the pain meds that adequately control your level of pain, no matter how many times you feel like you have to ask for more.

I'm a mom, too -- two wonderful teens who are worried sick about me. I will be starting radiation in about a week, and am trying to prepare myself for the worst (and hoping for better than that). I will be thinking about you and your kids as I go through my treatments -- hoping you will be doing your treatments, too! We can be partners in radiation -- I'll send good vibes your way!

Hang in there. I know you can do it.