Little sister,

I am too a little sister and it has been almost 3 years since my big brother passed away. I cry all of the time. I don't want to burden my friends and my husband all the time with my feelings, so I will go into a room and look at all of his things, pictures and cry by myself. I know what you mean about not being happy all the time, it probably is not healthy to do, but I feel closer to him when I hold his things and look at pictures of how he was. He was it for me, the coolest person, the smartest person, the most handsome person and the loss I feel is overwhelming at times. Then I go upstairs and work on my memorial walk for him and I feel so much better. I am keeping his memory alive, honoring his life and trying to make a difference in the world by working for OCF. I could not help him while he was alive, but can help others from dealing with oc. Maybe counseling is a good thing for you, to vent your feelings. Maybe become involved in an organization that he loved. Carry on with something he loved to do. YOu know sometimes it so hard when I come to these boards and read others stories about losing someone to oc, but then I know I can offer my words and really know what they are going thru.

This is truly the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life. I don't think there is a perfect answer, there is not a date that will say "this is the day you move on", but for me helping others is the way to go.

I hope you find some peace soon.

Susan