I would like to encourage you all to seek grief counseling. Grief is absolutely normal and good counseling can help you with balance, and allow you to process what has happened. The grief process affects survivors too.

Please search on the web for a wealth of sites and information.

Take care

Mark, 21 Year survivor, SCC right tonsil, 3 nodes positive, one with extra-capsular spread. I never asked what stage (would have scared me anyway) Right side tonsillectomy, radical neck dissection right side, maximum radiation to both sides, no chemo, no PEG, age 40 when diagnosed.