Someone needs to be with her when she goes to Doc and has this stuf explained to her -- She is likely confused because she is trying to absorb the first thing the Doc says and doesn't even hear the second or third thing -- The second person is less involved, can take notes and ask questions.

If she is not being treated at a National Cancer Institute-designated (NCI) Comprehensive Cancer Center (CCC), her case should at least be submitted to one for second opinion, if not actual treatment. The CCC will have Docs from all of the appropriate skill areas and will have treated more cases in a year than most single Docs see in a lifetime.

List of CCC's here:

http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/resources/cancer_centers.htm

The more details you can list here (best place is in signature area so you don't have to repeat it), the better we understand it.