OK - doc thinks the little lump in the back of the neck is just a node flaring up because it doesn't like everything going on. And - he says what he thinks Joe is feeling is not the tumor, but scar tissue from the radiation. He said it feels really good to him - and he will be rescanning next week so he can further finesse his RT plan. We see onc on Thursday, will ask him all the same questions!

Thank you all. Sometimes, even just writing it out makes it better. I actually feel like a jerk sometimes for letting it get to me - I am not the one going through it all! And Joe, my husband, has been such a huge trouper. But I am the one taking care of him, and of our 5 year old and 2 year old, and trying not to get fired (my job has been super to me but when you are a young lawyer, billable hours reign supreme and I just worry so much about keeping employed, esp. if H does die)...sometimes it gets to me. Oh - and the guilt of feeling bad for myself!!

OK - so anyway - looks like we survived today! Which is great! And I am in a much better place! Thank you all!

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Husband's history: Stage I sore on right tongue, removed by surgery 7/06. In 1/08, noticed small inflamed node in right neck. Radical neck, 8 positive nodes, cisplatin and IMRT to bilateral neck for 6 weeks. 12/08, large tumor in left neck. Needle biopsy positive. 2/09, begin taxol and carbo and more rt. Rad neck to follow in April.