Thank you for the link. I still am not sure I will need that apparatus. I know it depends on circumstances but at least I know what it looks like and am sure my caregivers will inform me of details should the need present itself.
That site lead me to wander about the sit and I took some time out to read some stories of survivors including Brian's. I am amazed at the journeys all have endured. I guess at this point I have to grab a hold of myself, dig deep and pray that this can be removed without radiation treatments. No matter what directions the results could have taken so far they have alway been in one direction. I am praying really hard that I will not have to travel the road so many of you have. I just cannot say it enough you folks are all amazing and have amazing stories to tell and I do mean amazing. I am curious though this being an american site if there are many Canadian members or links. I really do thank the nurse for this site.

I will wait till my cat scan and continue to pray for the favourable results my doctor believes it is. I am no stranger to surgery but have not had anything this huge before. I don't know if I am just paranoid or not but I have feelings in my body that friends are trying to be supportive and telling me it is sore from muscles being affect by the cancer and same with my jaw and ear ache (which the doctor was aware of at my consult visit) Like how far I am feeling sore and achy. It is going down my neck almost to my collar bone. Anyway I have to wait for the cat scan for definate answers. Fretting at this time won't do any good. (Oops did I type that...that is me talking to myself again to keep me on track) I have to keep telling myself to live in the moment which is so hard to do for me but some of the best advise to me.

First step taken One full day without a cigarette. Wasn't all that bad just moments...Looking forward to day 2!!!

Holding my own (sort of)