Dianne, I agree you need more info. from your doctor about *exactly* what is going to be done and why. If you are getting a feeding tube that will be used to help you feed yourself once you leave the hospital, it is probably what is called a "PEG" tube or sometimes just a "G-tube". You should clarify with your doctor why you are getting that and how long you will need it for, as well as what sort of stuff you should be putting down that tube.

The "flap" means they are going to take tissue from somewhere else (usually your leg) and ue it to replace some of the tissue they will remove in the surgery--this is often done if they have to remove a lot of tongue so that you have what works as a functional tongue to help you swallow after you recover. Again, clarify this with your doctor if you don't understand the details.

I understand you may have gotten so scared as the doctor was talking you missed a lot the first time. That is NORMAL so tell your doc that was what happened and you need to get some clarification. Write out the questions you have ahead of time. If you have a friend who can come with you when you ask the doc questions, bring them and see if they will even take notes. Or ask your doc if you can tape record the questions and his or her answers so you can go back to listen again afterwards.

You should also ask if there is a possibility that this surgery will be followed by radiation. They may not know until they see the results of your neck dissection during the surgery but have them explain what the possibilities could be if you want to know "what next".

And as for people here having strength you don't have: that is what we all thought when we came here newly diagnosed. One of the great secrets about what it is to be human that you do learn in the cancer battle (if life hasn't give you some other reason to learn it already) is that we all have WAY more strength than we know. Even though you sound very scared, you will get through this. I know I was terrified and I did.

Nelie