Hi Paula,
Sorry for all you are going through.
We used aquaphor ointment and had an rx for minicyclene for mom's rash. The skin is like onion skin and tears so easily and was very painful.
Do you have a supermarket nearby that can deliver your groceries? At least the drinks? I don't have any real back issues but it always aches after lugging everything in and out and then to put it away. Maybe a neighbor child can help you?
I agree with Suess57, I admire you for standing by the man you love. I can't imagine why some people say some of the hurtful things they do, maybe they just don't realize it? you wouldn't believe some of the comments I've heard...nothing like yours but offensive at times all the same.
You are in my thoughts,
Donna