Well, the rash is beginning to appear and Jim is in a very bad mood. He is in extreme pain in his leg - walking with crutches still. His radiation Dr. says it is too early for him to be free of post-surgical pain let alone the fact that the radiation takes a while to reduce the tumor. Jim says that he feels tumor pain now...not post-surgical. He says there is a difference. I am soooo afraid. He is very edgy, gripy and short. I happen to have 2 hernitated discs in my back and it is very hard on me to lift the countless bottles of gatorade, water and liquids out of the car to bring them in...I am so tired and feel so guilty about even writing this, when he is in the fight for his life. My girls and mother have abandoned me because they keep saying suck it up "you knew he hand cancer when you married him" - anyone in their right mind would never have done such a thing; so I try to be strong, but tonight is just really tough.

We're proceeding on the house so that hopefully this will keep him busy and give me something to look forward to. I hate cancer...my brother is in London dying from it and I cannot go see him because my husband is in the fight for his life, too. The only time I talk to anyone is on this board. Thank you all for listening -

Paula