Hi Carol,
I am not sure if or how I can answer any of your questions, but I can share with you the similar experience I went through. My mom, at the age of 71, passed away from oral cancer in November 2006. She was diagnosed in February 2006, had almost half of her tongue removed in March 2006, and went through only radiation in the summer. After radiation treatment she had a lot of problems with mucous and thrush. What we didn't know was that the cancer went to the other side of her tongue, down her neck, and who knows else where. Towards the end of October one day she had serious problems breathing as her throat became swollen so we had her taken to ER. They ended up putting a trach tube in her so she could breath, and they told else the cancer has spread and she is terminal with less than 6 months. BIG shock to us. We made plans to move her to a Hospice where we believe she received the best care possible. They gave her drugs to clear up the mucous and ease her pain. I was holding her hand when she went very peacefully. She passed away 10 days after going to the ER. We believe the Hospice made her very comfortable.

It is a very difficult subject for me to talk about because it is like I am reliving it, and I also was diagnosed with oral cancer in 2007. Right now I am 6 months post treatment with everything clear. I do understand the pain and anxiety you are going through, and will try to help as much as possible.

Without knowing the cause of the swelling in your mom's throat, it is hard to say what will happen. I would think for now what ever the case they would keep her comfortable.

Please update us with more information after the Drs. visit on Tuesay, and I think you will get more responses.