Carol my heart is with you .I send my prayers. It is so hard to watch a loved one suffer like this. We stood by my dad until he took his last breath. He chose to come home and not die in the hospital. The Drs gave him morphine for if his pain got too severe. He never took one. You have to be strong for your mother but really it will show her more if you did in fact shed some tears for her and with her. I do understand she has other medical problems. I have to walk a step behind my mother most of the time now because she has a heart condition and passes out alot. Now I have added to her stress with my cancer. We lean on each other and can only offer our hugs, tears, fears and most of all our love for each other. I told her today that if this next biopsy proved to be cancer again I would not take further treatments as that is my right. She told me she would stop taking all the drugs that she is on as that is her right. Neither one of us will do what we said because we have to be there for each other. Be there and give her your support. My mom lost her youngest son to cancer in 1978 and my dad ten years ago. The Drs told her that when abody gets to a certian point it shuts down and feels no pain. so her laughing and smiling may be Gods way of releaseing some of her pain.I don't know if this will help you in anyway but after watching members of my own family I do know that after what seemed an eternity of pain it was like they stopped having pain. My baby brother refused the drugs for pain that the Drs gave him saying he didn't need them. My mom hurt enough for the both of them. She is my hero and most likly the strongest person in the world at least to me she is. Yes she is in pain but she tries to hide it best she can but I see it in her face. I try to give her some of my pain meds but she refuses. Pray for her not to be in pain, God does answer I now this for a fact. Good luck and again I will send out a prayer tonight and every night for you and your mom. Brenda