Am now utterly exhausted and full of mixed emotions.
Was 2 hour at hospital before I even got my bloods and zometa done! By that time, they thought the consultant might even gone home!
he was actually still there and after having to access the computer for biopsy results--2 weeks on, no letter and 'flagging' from the plastics dept!
Yup, the cancer is back (it never actually went away!)--almost identical report as first one--'undifferentiated cancer etc etc.
Was examined--lump total now 10--but none in my arms which he said was 'good'---duh??
Then decided it was time to try some more/different chemo--Taxotere, 4 cycles, 1 treatment every 3 weeks.
Will make hair fall out/lots of pain and nausea apparently.
Gonna look it all up later. Didn't ask 'chances with/without/time-lines', just focussed on the 3 important facts for me right now:
1) I can go away to Cyprus, Feb 10th to 20th
2) I should talk to MacMillan nurse on Friday about pain control
3) The gross lump on neck SHOUDN'T develop into fungating--in spite of it's feel and colour, as it's 'solid'!
So, still in pain, still dying from cancer, but might hang on a bit longer!

Left hospital with a brochure/application form for wigs and am gonna organise a competition weekend I think for all my friends 'Design a wig for Brenda'! Actually looking forward to having a new style and maybe colour!--Mousey brown/untamed was never a good look on me!!
Was thinking of you all during the day---so many thanks!

Love Bren x