Deb,

I know exactly how you feel and your post brought back memories of a family meeting that my 2 children, my wife and I had many, many years ago. I don't remember what it was that we had kept from them, but whatever it was, it caused them to sit us down and promise that we (and they) would never keep anything from each other again. From that point in time, we have told them everything and as fas as I know, they have told us everything.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, there was no option. I didn't want to tell them on the phone, so we made arrangments to get together and I told them in person. It wasn't easy, but I told them as much as I knew. There were tears, but it was the right thing to do.

Now that you have vented here and you have gotten it out of your system, I would suggest that you have a heart to heart talk. Tell them how you feel, tell them how much you want (and need) to be a part of his problem and that you understand that he wants to protect you, but you would much rather not be surprised.

I hope you can do this and that they will be accepting of your wishes. I also hope that your dad has a full and complete recovery.

Jerry