Dear Deb,
You said:

I was prepared to see my dad for a minute with a trach, a respirator, drain tubes, etc..., but I was not prepared for the unbandaged radical neck dissection. How could he do that to me???

First, the neck dissection, although it looks like hell, was probably the easiest and least painful part of the surgery for him. Second, I suspect neither your Dad or your mother probably had any idea how bad it was going to look or they might have warned you and no, they don't bandage these . I've had two 4 years apart and you can barely see the scars. There will be side effects like build up of lymph fluid in the neck and possible shoulder weakness that will require the help of a physical therapist. Proper massage by PT will also help with the scar to heal. I also used Biafine, a deep wound cream, on the scar to help it heal. Ask doctor about it and when he can use. It can't be used on an open wound.

Being kept out of the loop is not good, but I wouldn't worry about the neck dissection. That's pretty routine especially since he has already had radiation. Here's hoping he doing is well and try not to worry about how the neck looks. The drains, staples and stitches will be gone in a few days.

Take care,
Eileen