Thank you Barb, for the answer about the ridges. I do worry about putting vaseline in there because whatever I put there usually ends up goin down my throat evenually, at least some of it, and I don't like the idea of swallowing petroleum jelly. Also, the biotene gel has all the good stuff in it that's missing in my saliva.

I'm here for some shameless whining and in need of some basic emotional support. Today is my birthday and it hasn't been a good one.

Firwst, I was up until 3 am this morning with bad mouth pain. Same old thing--same spots (roof of mouth and this one spot on the right side that *may* be partly from rubbing against my teeth). Finally, after taking an extra dose of oxydose and extra-strength tylenol on top of that I somehow managed to sleep for several hours. This mouth pain at night thing is getting REALLY old.

Then I of course was not able to eat anything today--even ice cream (I tried) and its my birthday AND I went to the dentist and got some not good news. He asked if I had been wearing the "flap" he made for me (little temporary partial that fits in where he pulled my two bottom front teeth). I said no, not at all since I got mouth sores back in May and I had noticed that the front tooth that is right next to the gap where the two teeth were pulled looks like it has kind of moved around a little. And he looked and said yes, it had and now there was a problem because it wasn't where it should be and he couldn't pull it because I'd had radiation.

My radiation oncologist told me I should not worry about wearing that if it was aggravating the mouth pain and sores--it was never coinfortable even BEFORE the mouth sores, I don't know HOW it could have been made comfortable enough for me to wear it the last few months but I wish someone (even this dentist--when I last saw him before rad) had told me THEN how important it was that I wear it every day. I swear I even rememebr that I told him the last time I saw him that I doubted I'd wear it if my mouth got sore. Maybehe didn't realize how long that might last. Or he wasn't listening.

So he has referred me to an oral surgeon (a new one, the one who did the biopsy is semi-retired and I need an oral surgeon affiliated with the hospital) to look at my mouth and see what he thinks. The good thing is the dentist got me in quickly to see this oral surgeon but if I have to have oral surgery now, won't I need hyperbaric oxygen? Of course, maybe that would help the mouth sores anyway BUT I can't get it anywhere nearby. I'd probably have to go stay in another city for several weeks just for that.

Anyway, given all this, its a good thing that the class I ws supposed to teach in the classroom (as opposed to online--I'm still teaching online) has been taken by a colleague because it was clear I wasn't up to talking for an hour twice a week but I'm also really depressed about that.

I love the classroom and the electronic "classroom" is not the same. And I really had hoped I'd be close to normal right now and I still feel so disabled by the mouth pain and sores.

And, have I mentioned I love to EAT too and I wonder if I'll EVER enjoy that again.

I just started crying after the dentist visit. I haven't cried very much during all this but I
'm just SO tired of this disease (or the effects of the treatment--to be more accurate( destroying and swallowing up so much of my entire life!

OK. I'm sure all this whining is tiring to some but it really helps me to express this to people who have been there, so thanks for reading all the way to here!