I'm not a spouse but a sibling. My brother has been gone 11 months now and I still feel guilty. We did have much time to see each other before the illness, he had his family and I mine. Funny how after his diagnosis I found plenty of time, seeing him daily in fact. He did stop by in November, several months before he told my mother about the sore on his tongue and going to the doctor. As he was preparing to leave he stood there and looked at me funny and I thought he was going to say something. I will always wonder if he wasn't about to tell me about the sore or ask me to look at it. If so we could have caught it 6 months earlier. I know it's silly, I can't "save" anyone, but I will never feel I did enough. Had I seen him more often maybe I would have noticed something different. I had always helped pull him out of situations before, but for all my research, getting him to better doctors, praying, helping his family, I couldn't save him. I failed him. I will always feel a portion of guilt.