okay I'll have to think about the other but on the first one:
1) Guilt is what I feel when I've run out of other emotions like fear, hope, frustration, confusion, and anger. To me it's a sign that I need to step back and regain perspective. It's so hard to watch someone you love suffer and I feel guilty that maybe there was some early sign that I missed. Those are the moments that are dangerous. Cancer doesn't always come with announcements and warnings. The symptoms are so vague - sore throats, tired, swollen glands - how many people get those symptoms and have a cold?
There's no good role here, it's hard to be a patient and go through these difficult treatments/side effects, but it's equally hard to sit for hours in the waiting rooms during surgeries, radiation, chemo, and spend all those lonely moments wondering if I will be the one who will be left behind to live without him. It's exhausting to be a caregiver and try to deal with the loss of our former lives, not to mention the role reversals that many of us find ourselves thrown into so we feel guilty when we're not perfect. That's when I tell myself to get over it and deal with the life that we have.

I'll get back to you on the other questions. Regards JoAnne