Dear Cindy,

Being the caregiver to my husband Ron, I understand what you're feeling. My husband Ron finished radiation treatments on his throat about 2 1/2 months ago. Going through the radiation with him was probably one of the toughest times in my life. He too would drive himself back and forth for treatment, but it wasn't as far as your husband has to go. Ron got "distant" from me too as the treatments progressed, and my feelings were hurt. We did talk about it, and he told me that it wasn't personal at all. He was in a lot of pain, and he was focusing all of his energy on just getting through each day. I can't even begin to imagine dealing with that kind of pain. Even with the pain meds! My advice to you is try to remember it's not about your relationship, it's not personal. He's just trying to get through this. All of his attention and energy is focused on battling this disease. Trust me, it will get better. He will be the loving husband he once was. He just needs your understanding right now. Give him space if that's what he wants, and make sure to take care of yourself! If you can, go have a facial, go for a walk, do something nice for yourself. Do you have friends you can talk to? I relied a lot on my girlfriends during that time...they really helped me. Best of luck to you.

Shelley