Margaret, it is so painful for me to read your post as I so remember those dark days and the feeling of helpleness. I too cried all the time. I remember hearing a jazz song and wondering if my husband would ever hold me in his arms and dance like we used to. I also called his MO when he went in for chemo and asked his nurses to talk to him about depression and they did and he said he was not depressed and did not want to take anything. I was surprised. They told him and me his reaction was normal and this to would pass. I did encourage him to keep taking his pain meds. It seems everything we would ask was normal and you just have to get to the other side. I can say it does get better, sometimes its hard to see the forest for the trees. Hang in there and keep yourself healthy, I walk every nite with a wonderful friend and we both have cried many a time. Sometimes I even needed a glass of wine in the evening for myself! Your husband has a lot going for him as he only lost 10 lbs, no peg tube and can still swallow and eat, even if it is eggs. I know he doesn't want to hear this but one day or 1 hour at a time. My husband still tells me I dont have a clue!!! LJ