I love Gary's post about "fighting fair". It can be used at any age and can help people/children feel validated and have some measure of control over a situation. When my daughter and older son were little (ages 4 and 9) and the noise level indicated some sort of unresolvable conflict, I would say - "time for a conference!" and would sit them enough apart so they couldn't hit each other. Each was given a turn to state what they thought the problem was while the other had to be silent and listen. Each was given the opportunity to say how he/she felt about what the other person said and what the solution should be. It only took a few conflict conferences when the next time the noise level was uncomfortable and I suggested a "conference" they both called back to me that "It's ok, Mom - everything's fine! we took care of it". I do this now with my grandchildren and it is actually fun to see how they resolve things themselves.