Thank you everyone - it is a comfort being able to draw on others' experiences versus only being able to go on what the doctors and nurses say, though I don't discount their opinion, that is not what I am saying. I am sure you all understand what I am saying more than I do probably. They (doctors) were right about the amifostine, however, but I would not have wanted to always wonder if he should have tried it - at least he gave it a shot. Speaking of which, the RO said (after the fact) that if he wanted to try it a second time, better results have been obtained with injection in the skin vs. IV. So my first thought was "now you tell us!" even though it was the medical oncologist who ordered it- should she not have known that?
I pray that he gets through the feeding tube placement tomorrow - yet another hurdle. There seems to be so many...it seems like oral cancer affects so many things..everything is compounded. In saying that, I certainly don't mean to minimize the effects of any other cancer disease sites, not at all, but there certainly are multiple challenges with head and neck cancer. It is something one could never imagine until you or your loved ones face it.

Thank you Gail for the suggestion about meeting with the nutritionist - I believe there is one available and I think we may do that. And you are so right Minnie - homesick is a good description of the feeling. I am afraid my husband has not had that hit him to the fullest degree as yet and I fear that it will really bring him down at some point. I hope not. My husband has always been the pessimist and I have tried to be the optimist.

With God's help I will try not to get discouraged and to hold on to the hope, which has become a little easier by reading the posts and words of encouragement on this site. I was very surprised and pleased today when my husband said that when (he said "if and when" but I corrected him)we get through this, we are going to become volunteers! It made me happy to hear him say that and I can see now that there may be a silver lining in all of this.
Thank you all.
Michele