Hi Michelle! First, please ignore my medical spelling!! Second, I have been thru and still going thru all you are describing. I know we don't know each other, but we have this thing in common. From what I have been told, my husbands situation is extremely rare. He has been called a medical marvall, acedemically challenging, etc. Estimates are anywhere from only .4%-2% of head & neck cancer remains as primary unknown. I have been all over the internet, and your husband is the only other one I have found. My husband was diagnosed in July 2005 with stage IV SCC metastic to the right cervical lymph nodes, primary still remains unknown. He had 3 lymph nodes surgically removed. The largest was 6cm, the other two were 2cm. They removed all the cancer they could, but the largest tumor was wrapped around his carardid artery so they could not take it all. He went thru 3 exploritory surgeries, xrays, cat scans, pet scans, etc. They never could find the primary. They told us his only hope was a very aggressive treatment. He went thru weekly chemo treatments and daily radiation treatements from July to Nov. He was given carboplatin and taxol for chemo. He had 30 minutes of radiation daily. The radiation treatment went completely around his head and upper body, from his sinuses down to his upper chest. Prior to treatment, they pulled ALL of his teeth because this amount of radiation to his lower face would destroy his teeth and weaken his jaw bones for the rest of his life. He was on a feeding tube from July to the end of December. Due to complications from treatment, he spent 8 days in the hospital. I'm not going to kid you. It was very rough at times. We had constant problems with infection from his feeding tube and it had to be replaced toward the end of treatment. During treatment, he didn't have the energy to get out of bed. It was exhausting for him to go to treatment everyday. He has lost over 50lbs. He did fairly well with the chemo, but the radiation was awful. He had a lot of pain in the neck and throat area. The radiation totaly destroyed his saliva glands. His pain was constant and intense. There were sores in the mouth, mucosis, dry, bleeding tounge, etc. It was all he had to take small sips of water to wet his mouth. My husband finished treatment Nov21, 2005. We still don't know if treatment worked, but the doctors seem optimistic. He goes next week for his first new pet scan after completing treatment. He is no longer on a feeding tube but still has to eat soft foods because his throat had not completely healed. But his skin has healed nicely on the outside. The only real side affect is his dry mouth due to not having any saliva glands. He has to drink a lot of water to eat and to talk. Other wise, he has returned to work and is doing just fine all things considered. Even though he wanted to quit several times during treatment, he stuck it out. Now that it's over, he's glad he did. I can't say that I have any advise for you. Everyone and every situation is different. If your husbands treatment is an intense and aggressive as my husbands, it will be a hard road but it is definitely doable, and in my opionion, well worth it considering the alternative. If you are going to be his primary caregiver, I will also tell you it isn't easy either. Its hard to keep a "happy face" and remain positive when all you want to do is cry. While your husbnad is awake, you will be there to care for him. While he is asleep, you will need to keep your household & motherly duties (if you have children). For me, this was overwhelming and exhausting. There was very little time for sleep. I had to learn to take things one day at a time. Control what I could, and what I couldn't, let it go. At times, I felt like I just couldn't do anymore. But, you know what? We did make it...my husband and I made it thru together one day at a time. And I know you can to! My husband didn't like "talking" about it. Every once in a while, he would break down and we would talk, but for the most part, he kept his thoughts to himself. As for myself, I found not talking only made it worse. I need to get my thoughts, feelings, and fears out in the open. I am very blessed to have a wonderful support team of friends around me. Your making a right first step by finding a good support network of people to share with. If you are interested, I have an 800# to my house. Email me and I will give it to you. You could call me anytime, day or night, if you need to talk. I may not have any answers or advise, because we are still going thru it ourselves. But I definitely have a heart full of love and understanding to share and big ears to listen with! Best of luck to you.