Hi Michele,
My radiation doctor explained to me that Amifostine only works about half the time so I turned it down. He told me it would make me very sick and no guarantees it would work. I had conventional radiation, both sides, bottom of ears to armpits and I still have some salivary function. They spared the large salivary gland on my non affected side so that helped. Conventional radition does not always mean NO salivary function left.
You hit home with me about waking up and for a split second feeling like you were in your prior life. My biggest struggle wasn't my fear of the cancer, struggles of treatment, all the things you would think would be the most difficult. Mine was the horrible homesick feeling I lived with and my yearning for my "old" life. I would wake up in the morning and the homesickness would wash over me and stay there, affecting everything I did. The process of saying goodbye to my old life and the old me was painful and long but it was done and now, my new life is full and wonderful and has advantages to it that my old life didn't have. Always a silver lining, so hang onto that thought while you go through these dark days. You'll make it!
Minnie