Swati,

I am so sorry that you have to deal with so much during a time that is already difficult enough. As odd as it sounds, you will know when it is time to make a different decision than what you have made in the past. Sit by your father's side, hold his hand and just tell him how much you love him and how you will do anything for him, how you wish he didn't have to suffer right now. Tell him that there is nothing wrong with dieing and that any time he is ready to go, you are okay with it. Tell him that selfishly you wish he could stay in this life forever but you understand how this disease has taken such a toll on his body. Once you start, the words (and the tears) will flow freely. You will be processing a lot of your feelings while this conversation is taking place, too.

God bless you and I am truly sorry you are going through this.

Ed

SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023