Swati,

I am so sorry to hear the news about your father. I can not imagine how difficult of a time this is for your entire family.

I vividly remember hearing the doctor tell me my mother had 3-4 weeks to live. She had battled ovarian cancer for about a year and through both surgeries, they removed about 40 lbs of tumors from her each time. The last surgery they also did an ileostomy. I remember going to Virginia and putting her on the plane to come to my home in Dallas to live the remainder of her life. At this point she had multiple brain tumors also. I just knew there had to be some options available but she insisted no more treatment. We went to the medical school here that also had trained her doctor in Virginia. He personally called and got her into the same program he had participated in.

Through the intial visits to get her meds sorted out and such, we reached a point that they believed she had a week or two left UNLESS she would let them treat the brain tumors with radiation. She told me on the way to the doctor that she would not agree to this under any circumstances. This was the longest ride in my life and my mind was racing. When the doctor looked her in the eye and said she would live a few more days without the radation, she jumped up and said..."Well then, what are we waiting for?". I was shocked but we started in 3 days. She pretty much stayed in bed from the 5th treatment on (7 months later). All in all, she lived about 9 months which was way beyond any expectations anyone had.

My mother was fortunate in that she communicated her wishes. I also remember how special it was the last few days. I only wished she would have agreed to hospice care earlier. Before we could get her moved over to hospice, she passed away. We had home health care and they used mostly their hospice staff to treat her, though, so it worked out fine. We had access to many highly trained and qualified people that helped us process things much easier. The pain management doctor was the greatest, although my mother insisted on minimal pain meds so she could enjoy the rest of her life. During her last month we even took her to the Bahamas because she wanted to see the ocean and we got her a 5th floor ocean view room with a balcony.

I know how tough this must be and I wish I had more advice for you but I don't. I only wish you the best and that you may have the utmost peace and comfort through this unfortunate time. Feel free to email me anytime.

Ed