A few days ago a friend of my dads passed away from cancer, the funeral is tommorow. I keep thinking that could have been my mom. I keep thinking what would have happened if it had not been caught? If she hadn't had a good doctor that knew what he was doing? All the what ifs crowd into your mind and they begin to become scary, you know? What do you do with a pain that is so complete, but at the same time so abstaract that to confront it would be torture and to run would be the same. I do what I do best I hide the pain from others, while I fight my own battles alone. Isn't it funny how we all look out for others and forget about ourselves. We aren't supposed to let it get us down, right? Pain,anger,fear, I wonder who invented those words? Maybe they didn't know how to feel. I think that thing's can almost be more complicated when a word is put to explain a person's heart. I guess I just needed to say that, maybe we all need to say something sometimes even if it doesnt always make sense.