Mike
Thank you so much and I might just take you up on that pillar thing. A few day's after my dad's friend's funeral I found out that another friend of the famialy's daughter died. We have to go to the funeral tommorow. They don't know what she died of she just died in her sleep. which really scares me because it seem's so real and after my mom's surgery I remember thinking that could happen to her and now with this thing it bring's all the old fear back. I know I must sound like a complete baby but, I can't help it. I know that I should remember that this is not about me and I feel really bad everytime I think of me instead of someone else but we all do it dont we. I alway's go on and on sorry I guess I don't know when to stop thinking. :)Thank you so much for you'r caring responses and I am sure that your famialy appreicate your love even when you do the simple thing's i know I am really happy with the amount of love my mom puts in to everything espeically simple things.
Dragon

PS: I know I know I am running on