I remember when my mother was terminally ill with cancer and we made a list of things she wanted to do and places she wanted to see. She often spoke of Amsterdam and asked me to take her there because of their views on euthanasia. I told her my Christian beliefs would not let me take another life or assist her in any way but I let her know that I would love to see the coffe houses I had heard so much about over the years. I agreed to take her and said if she choose to not make the return trip I would not coerce her or pressure her to leave and we would say our final goodbyes; as much as my heart would ache, I would understand. I told her to be sure and put that on the bottom of the list, though, because nothing could happen if that was her last trip.

In October 2000 my wife, son and I took my mother to Freeport, Bahamas. It was my 12 year old son's first blue water dive and my wife's birthday. On my wife's birthday, we all 3 went on a shark dive while my mother sat on her balcony facing the ocean. She had brain mets with four sizeable tumors and the emotional roller coaster was very difficult for all of us to handle, but we did it anyway.

It turned out to be the last trip my mother was able to make and to this day seeing her look up at me with her toothless smile as the plane descended to the island and remark, "We're going to the Bahamas!" is one of the most precious memories of her I have!

During the last six months we reunited my mother with a friend from Japan she had not seen for 50 years and took her everywhere she wanted to go, let her see everything she wanted to see. Heck, she even dragged me to a bridge club and I had to learn how to play bridge. I was 44 years old and I could hear the other folks grumbling, "who is that kid?". I brought the average age down at least 10-15 years.

Stephanie, if there was only one piece of advice I would give you or anyone going through this dreaded disease, MAKE THE MEMORIES! Every day fretting and worrying is a day you will never get back. Make the most of every one, like we should be doing anyway.

Ed

SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023