hi all, thanks for the responses,

thanks for the in depth reply cookey

regarding the first issue about the early stages of cancer bit.
i was assessed over a 3 year period where they took 2 biopsys and deemed me to be clear to go after the 3 year watch.
i think that by early stages of cancer the doctor must have meant leukoplakia, as i said they were very vauge with me and descriptions, i knew nothing back then,

also sorry bout the confusion with the anti biotics, i was prescribed a 10 day course which worked, but after 2 weeks or so i wasnt sure whether the sore throat feeling has came back when i swallow or whether my mind is playing tricks on me as im so worked up.

as for being off my work i can understand where you are coming from and wish i was back at work, i am on medication which deem it impossible for me to work with machinary at the moment but am thinking of coming off the tablets and getting back as i really need the money at this time of the year as my daughter has a new christmas list every week !!

i found it impossible to concentrate at my work anyhow when i was there due to this being on my mind all day every day so i was a hazzard to myself or worse someone else.

i was back at doctors today who has put me on anti depressants and has arranged for me to see someone about anxiety management and told me to refrain from my work up until my initial hospital appointment ( 4 weeks away ), so no doubt the worries and anxiety will get worse leading up to this.

this is why i feel so helpless and such a fool, i havnt been diagnosed with anything and dentists seemed not too concerned tho i have got myself self diagnosed and in a hell of a state for maybe no reason, and theres all you people in here who have been through it or look after someone who has been through it and all seem so strong and positive, i admire you all so much though still cant help feeling like crying when i read some of the stories in here.

thanks for all the replies, you make me feel so much better

derek