Hi, I saw both my ENT and Plastic surgeon last week,they are ready to do more reconstruction surgery on me.To recap,2 years ago stage 4 cancer,about 3inches or more of jaw bone removed, lining of mouth, very small piece of tongue.moderate lymph node surgery.Had fibula free flap, failed , did metal jaw and took skin from shoulder to cover.Bar( thats my chin ) has an infection. This will be removed from the outside,I will need a PICC line for antibotics and after 3 weeks infection should be gone and I go back and ENT and plastics team will take tissue from my left arm to line my mouth with, vein maybe from wrist up( If test show this vein not good may take vein from left side of neck).Of course skin graft from left leg( have two on right leg)My ENT doctor noticed right away that I am not my usual self about this, and said I need to get in a better frame of mind before we start this.I have to do this, but when I think about it I feel like I have a heavy weight on my chest, It is so hard to start all over again.On top of it all it could fail.I guess I am just tired, anyone have a good recipe for me to get myself up again and as my Dr. said in the right frame of mind? gnelson