He's probably not as well as either of you thinks. The treatment does a number on the mind as well as the body, and even though it sounded like he sailed through treatment, he may have suffered more than he admitted or realized at the time. Or maybe he thinks he shouldn't have had it that easy and does wish he was dead, who knows. If he doesn't want a counselor, you certainly can't make him go to one, but it would help if he was open to it.

You've mentioned a lot of problems with him. I think he DOES have 'deep issues' even if he doesn't know what they are yet. He hasn't sounded like a mentally healthy person, and this cancer stuff won't have helped.

((hugs))