Well, we got the news this afternoon. The nodule in his left lung is in fact cancer. The good news is that the PET scan did not find cancer in any new places we didn't know about. Now its down to finding out if the lung cancer is a metastasis from the tongue/lymph nodes or an unrelated cancer. The only problem is they said if the lung is also squamous cell, they probably won't be able to tell if that came from the tongue or is an unfortunate separate case of cancer. I don't know if that really makes any difference on treatment, other than if it is some type other than squamous in his lung it might be easier to treat.

We had some really good conversations this evening though and I feel a little bit more hope in regards to his will to fight. Maybe it will take a little background to help explain, but as I've said before, he has a true aversion to needles/hospitals. Show him a needle and it doesn't take much for him to pass out. He had a bad experience when they did the biopsy which was confirmed by his ENT this evening. Apparently when they pulled the tube and woke him up, something locked up and he couldn't breathe. He woke up with people screaming at him to breathe but he couldn't. Needless to say, they managed to get him breathing again but it really scared him. The other bad thing that happened was his doctor got tied up on an emergency case, so the wait for everything to start was much longer than it was supposed to be, so his anxiety really heightened.

Anyway, back to our breakthrough tonight. I found out that he's not really afraid so much of the side effects of the treatment. He's afraid of the things leading up to the treatment. They are going to have to do a needle biopsy of that nodule in his lung, he has to have his teeth pulled by the oral surgeon (they are really bad and it was something that he had been putting off before this happened.) In the conference today they mentioned the PEG tube and a port for the chemo. We've talked about the severe side effects from radiation and chemo - that's not his problem. It's the steps to get him there. I know that the needle biopsy is not done under general anesthesia, but it's going to take something stronger than the Valium they gave to him before the PET scan.

Frankly, he has told me - if he is going to go through with this, then they are going to have to give me something he can take before we leave home. I know patients have rights about pain control - but - is there something they can give him, or can I be insistent that they give him something for his anxiety? It's kind of ironic - he's been a peace officer for many years - shoot at him with a gun, do any number of things and he's not bothered - but mention the needle biopsy of his lung and he'll turn ten shades of green in nothing flat. I know that you folks know by experience, that these things he's worried about are not the biggies - but that's where he is right now and if I'm going to help him get through this, then I have to be able to assure him that we can insist that he be severely sedated for lack of a better word.

I am going to speak with the doctor about this on Monday, but if any of you have any experience/suggestions on what I should request, I'd appreciate your input.

Thanks again for your responses. They have been very helpful to me and to him. He hasn't been able to come here himself, but, he has been appreciative that I can answer some of his questions based on the words of those have been in his shoes.