Daisy,

I believe everyone has a right to chose their own course of action when they're facing cancer, even if it's not what I would do. That said, it makes me crazy to hear stories of people giving up before they even know enough about what the fight would be like. So I can just imagine what you must be feeling right now.

Lots of people have a very negative image of radiation and chemo. I know I did. Even though it was a grueling treatment for me, it was not anywhere near as bad as my worst fears about it made it out to be. And it was really from coming here that I realized that was probably true. I was an earlier stage and didn't have anyone give me such a grim prognosis as the first doctor you went to (and I agree with everyone else here that he was way out of line in how he presented things), I had the opposite problem which was I at first didn't see why I should go through such a grueling treatment when I ahd a decent prognosis anyway. It was really putting the treatment in perspective--yes, it was nasty but overall it was do-able and I had a lot of support--that gave me the courage to fight as hard as possible. As well as realizing that I would be at more peace afterwards knowing I'd done everything I could (which you might want to ask your husband about as he is weighing all this--how peaceful will he *really* feel if this disease does take his life if he didn't even TRY?).

I hope this helps and that maybe some of the other caregivers who post regularly here can come along soon and give you some support too.

Nelie