Your father is going to have a long road ahead of him. He's lucky to have such a caring daughter in his corner!
We all are apprehensive when we're facing unknown territory. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. Try your best to stay busy with positive things to help pass the time and keep your mind engaged so you are able to avoid dwelling on the "what if" thinking. Theres a couple things you can do to prepare.
Anyone who offers you their assistance, tell them when the time comes you will let them know what they can do to help. People really do want to help but most of the time they have no idea what they can do. Someone should stay with your father 24/7 or as much as the hospital will allow. Even if your father is asleep the hospital staff still will be in and out of his room and often will speak to your father expecting him to reply which he may not be able to do very well especially when first out of surgery. Theres a million other little things that can add up to making this so much easier on everyone involved. Walking the dog, picking up groceries or prescriptions, driving your father to treatment or a doctors appointment, doing a load of laundry, mopping the kitchen floor, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash are just a few suggestions of things friends and relatives can do to help. Caregivers will need a break from time to time to catch their breath. Even having a few people take a couple "shifts" to sit with your father while he is in the hospital is a huge help to allow you and your mother time to yourselves to deal with your other responsibilities. Write down everyone who offers their help and then you or your mother will know who to call on when you need a hand with something or a break. You can never have too many helpers.
It sounds like your father is in very capable hands. Your father will probably end up having a feeding tube and trach with this type of major surgery. Theres not much he can do to prepare for this type of surgery. The only suggestion I have is to encourage your father to eat, especially all his favorite foods, desserts too. If he is on the slim side, putting on a few pounds would be a good idea. His ability to eat and drink probably will be compromised for a while. For most patients its a temporary nuisance. Your father sure doesnt want to go into this having any cravings for his favorite foods so get him to eat everything now. Cancer patients usually burn up calories at a greatly increased rate, he may want to start keeping an eye on his intake, fluids too.
Ask about therapists or what the treatment facility offers for mental health support. Its ALOT for anyone to deal with. Many patients and caregivers need some help to get thru what they're facing. Your father may need anxiety meds or something to help stabilize his moods. It is nothing to be ashamed of!!! Many patients avoid meds thinking about the stigmas that come along with that sort of thing. Some meds take weeks to work so if he would needs something its better to start taking it sooner rather than later. Same goes for caregivers. They have a very difficult job to be the voice for their patient while showing a sunny, positive attitude no matter how they really feel inside. I applaud caregivers for the inner strength they always have. Even when they dont realize it, caregivers all show an incredible amount of strength which helps the patient feel better about their situation.
Ive had the same surgery your father is having. It is not very easy on the patient but having people supporting him will help to make it so much easier on everyone.
Please stop by often, read and learn about what your father will be going thru, ask questions and we'll help you as much as possible. Hang in there!!!
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