I, too, am an RN. It carries a unique burden in these situations. You can picture all the horrible problems in one instance, like viewing a movie.

Here is what helped me - know that the time prior to a treatment plan being instituted is often the most anxiety producing. The PA in my PCP's office said this to me and I did not believe him, but he was right. He prescribed anti-anxiety meds for me and I only needed it for a short period of time. It allowed me to stop the "movie" from running constantly and get some rest. Once tx starts you are very busy.

Next, I gave myself a week to panic and read all the bad side effects and outcomes on this site and elsewhere. I prepared for the worst, while hoping for the best. To help my husband, which I knew I could do very well with my training, I had to calm down.

I spent a great deal of time thinking I could anticipate problems. I learned it was best to rely on rad/oncology team for guidance because the situation often changed and I had to address side effects in order of importance instead of ahead of time.

As Tammy did, I handled most of the medical information and advocacy. This was a relief to my husband, freeing him to concentrate on coping with side effects. We also divided this up in a team approach, which I believe was helpful.

Remember that as nurses we are familiar with worst case scenarios. We don't often deal with patients who have had good outcomes and are enjoying life after cancer. My husband has frankly told me that he is glad he fought the battle. Life has been worth the struggle we went through.

Stay in touch with us and ask questions. This a safe place to vent and express positive and negative feelings.