bjmpittsburgh... truly.. truly bless you!
thank you for your thoughtful and helpful points..

the second is the most important... I think he is in a bit of denial about the process yet to come.. not the diagnosis. but he doesn't really truly understand what is coming his way. I don't want to scare him either..
but I just don't know how to help him prepare other than getting things set up and in order.. and try talking a little at a time. he is having sleeplessness/anxiety .. as am I... it is so hard to function at work and feel as though we don't have a tornado sitting on us grinding our minds, hearts and stomachs. facing this and the struggle to come is soooooooo upsetting. I am myself having such difficulty looking at what I understand will be hell on earth for this man I so love. ----