Yes. I get this too. You are right, life is not fair. I hate that this happened to us too. I hate that this happens to anyone. I have learnt though that life carries on and we all must make the best of what we have. Being positive is what has got us through. I love the idea of your coffee get togethers . It is so important to continue to meet our friends. Just getting out of the house helps the psyche.
May you enjoy companionship and coffees for a long time to come.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!