I'm sure your doctors have your best interest in mind! There are general guidelines set forth by the NCCN, which most follow, but then it can differ somewhat based on the hospital, the doctors training, and experience, including all the possible combinations with the three modalities, so you can see three different doctors, and get three different opinions. The key is the tumor board, who will have to come to some agreement on the best type of treatments suggested for your particular case.
Surgery is usually the preferred treatment with oral cancer, and recent studies show better outcome also with a neck dissection. Radiation & chemo can be added to get any stray cancer cells, including systemically with chemo, which chemo is also added to sensitize radiation to work better. I believe the key to survival are the nodes, and experienced centers, with high volume in HNC, have better outcome, and more experience with IMRT, which can differ in less experienced centers.
As far as alternative treatments, I'm not one to recommend any, besides medically acceptable, proven complimentary therapies to support recovery that are also approved by your doctors. I do advocate eating fairly healthy, doing some type of exercise when feeling up to it, maintaining healthy weight, avoiding infections.
I hope this helps, and good luck.