I know that this is overwhelming for you right now and downright scary. Definitely scary. Please believe that oral squamous cell carcinoma is aggressive. This is no walk in the park to treat. Having metastasised to lymph nodes makes this a Stage 4 cancer. This needs aggressive treatment.
Definitely get an opinion from a CCC that uses a Tumour Board approach. They will be looking for the best treatment and outcome for you. At this stage of the game, using alternative therapies is not an option by itself. The only curative options are surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy and/or a combination of these. Being a stage 4 you do need to hit this hard. This is your life you are talking about. You don't want to be facing a recurrence months after treatment has ended because you chose a softly softly approach to treating this. I'm not meaning to scare you, I just want to impress apron you that this is a serious disease. Hit it hard the first time.
Thinking of you,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!