Lori, in time you will begin to feel differently about everything. Im so sorry you are bothered so much by your situation. Many cancer patients will seek out therapists or counselors who are experienced with helping them to move past their illness. That is no small feat. The horror of what you have just been thru are still so fresh in your mind it makes it harder to get past everything you have been thru. In time it will get easier.

Personally, I have always been a very independent and strong person my whole life which helped me deal with my illness. I am a single parent who raised her children without anyones help. In my life, I choose to avoid worrying and the "what if's". Instead of going there, I focus on helping others which also helps me to feel productive. When I was growing up I learned how to look at the whole situation (no matter what it was) and look towards the solution. I also learned that worrying will never change a thing and only makes you upset which impairs a persons ability to think clearly. This isnt easy to always follow but it can be learned with lots of practice.

Feel free to come here often and let us help you. By being part of our group, you are not alone with this. We understand where you are coming from and how difficult it is to move past the illness and horrendous treatments we all have gone thru.