Lori,
this is part of the "new normal" thing mentioned often around here. Living in fear and anxiety is part of what cancer does to your mind for quite a while and you will never totally escape it, but like a bad relationship, you will eventually give it less thought time. It's like Pauls thorn, to put it in a Christian perspective. (II Cor. 12-7).

Do keep all of your appointments, recommended scans and tests. If you are cancer free after 2 years than things should start to get better, emotionally, for you.

Tongue cancer in non smokers/drinkers is rare but it does happen and with HPV becoming so prevalent it is becoming all too common. Today, if you were born before 1965 then there was an 80% probability that alcohol/tobacco products were involved. If you were born after 1965, there is an 80% probability that HPV is involved. It is estimated that 80% of the population has HPV today but not all of these will develop cancer. (if I was wrong about the year please correct me)