Whatever the "NOT what to say" to an OC survivor can depend on the mindset of the survivor at the particular moment of the verbal exchange and the reaction to it can change at any day or moment. Early in my son's Tx, as he walked out from the Rad room, I cheerily said, Yay! only 33 more to go! That upset him so much, I never commented again about how many more treatments he had to endure. Then, when he only had a few more Tx to go, he himself cheerily brought up how few more treatments he had to go. In addition, the message sent is not always the message received. The one making the not-well-received comment, may have the best of intentions, only wanting to help, to encourage but not having had the same experience cannot possibly know the brutality of the Tx the survivor is experiencing nor the level of his/her depression which in itself can only be improved in very small steps. Seems to me that the well-meaning commenter is the one who is better able to take a cue from what the OC survivor likes or doesn't like about any message he/she receives. The OC survivor has too much to deal with already in just surviving, to think about "attitude" but if he/she can be helped to find something, even a very small sign of progress in recovery, it may help.

Mamacita - I like your feisty attitude - it shows you are taking control in surviving whatrever life throws at you!