Yes, I am in this weird space too. With the 2nd recurrence, I feel like I lost the support of some friends too. Maybe too hard for them. Not sure. As for me, I feel tense and antsy regularly as well. I still want to do stuff but I think I am too self conscious because of my lisp. I'm working through it but its tough for sure. I'm praying that with time, I will adapt to yet another new normal and be more social with friends.

Age 44. Diagnosed at 34 (2006) with T1N0 SCC tongue on right side. Neck dissed & 6 weeks Radiation. 30% tongue removed. Never smoked;
2nd recurrence 1/2013 on left side. Surgery to remove 2/2013 forearm flap/neck dissec T1N0; brachytherapy 4/2013;
3rd recurrence 11/2015 mandibulectomy for jaw bone cancer Stage IV/no lymph node involvement