Of course you are not alone, Emilie. We are all here for you so please come here as often as you need to. I'm glad your son is with you and I know he must be worried. That's what people do who love each other. I worried about my son when he was in treatment and tried to hide it from him so I could put on the "Happy Face" but I found out that he worried about me, too and all that he saw me doing for him. I set him straight, though and told him that the things I was doing for him were exactly what I so very much needed to do, to keep busy so I wouldn't be sitting in a corner someplace having anxiety attacks! So, do rely on your son, because I'm sure it will help him to keep busy and stay positive and to feel that he is really making a difference in helping you get better. As others have said, now is the time to let family and friends in to help as well. Make a list of the things you might need done, like rides to Rad Tx, picking up prescriptions, doing laundry, whatever. That way if somebody says "Is there anything I can do?" you or your son can show them the list and they can pick what they feel comfortable doing. People do want to help and sometimes they just aren't sure what you need or what they can do for you. Hope everything goes well with your appointment on Dec 3rd.