She will definitely want the peg tube if she is having the surgery! Everyone is different, but if they are going to be removing that much, and then doing chemo and radiation, do whatever is in your power to have her get that tube in, the sooner the better.
I had the right half of my tongue removed, and reconstructed. Then had radiation. They didn't put my peg tube in until I only had 2 weeks of radiation left, and trust me, that isn't the best way to go. It is better for them to put it in before surgery and treatment start, so that they know it works for her as well. I found mine wasn't working properly because of a bacteria I got when they put it in. And it would have been nice to have it put in before surgery, so we knew it worked. I lost 65 lbs total. 20 from surgery, and 45 from radiation, because I couldn't eat or drink anything, and then my tube wasn't working. So I then had to use a PICC line to get nourishment.
It's crazy that they are still saying surgery first, as most of the people I have known that had BOT cancer, even with lymph node involvement, just had radiation and chemo, but docs know best I guess. I would just maybe make sure that is the best thing for her. If they have another doctor that can give you a second opinion, maybe go for that. Definitely don't want to make her go through surgery if she truly doesn't need it!
You are both in my thoughts! Tell her to stay strong and fight hard, and seriously consider letting them put the peg in before treatment starts! It will be her life line. Just because she has it in, doesn't mean she has to use it, it just means it's their just a precautionary! She can still eat and drink with that in.