My sister was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with tongue cancer at the base. The only test so far has been the camera down her nose 3 times...regular dr, 2 ENT drs. Both have said it's very bad.

She is 62 and until recently a mostly functioning alcoholic, meaning she only didn't drink at work. Got laid off, couldn't find another job, in June after 2 years and all money gone she had to take early retirement. which means no medical ins until 65. I say this all just to explain the delay...no one will start treatment until her public assistance insurance has completely started. The second hospital I found was a little more helpful but still won't begin yet. Hopefully soon. They said they will set up a pre op visit next and 2 weeks later do a biopsy. After that, a PET scan.

All of you are so brave and so inspiring. I have been reading everything I can for weeks but this site provided me with more helpful info than all the others put together.

My sister is not a young 62. She has always been taken care of and is, I don't know...not strong. I'm 10 years younger and the opposite. rarely let anyone take care of me and very strong. I'm sorry, I'm rambling, I'm so scared. I have been the one finding drs, insurance, learning what this is all about and what she will have to go through, but I've only told her a bit of the really nasty...I figure once she has the biopsy and PET the doctors will really get down to the nitty gritty and they can tell her. the first ENT already checked out an arm and told her that will be used for reconstruction.

Based only on the camera, the doctor said most of her tongue has to come out and that she has a rough road ahead of her. Backing me up, he told her she has to really start "eating" to gear up for it and when she complained said "just do it". She can't manage much because the tumor is so large and by now her appetite is gone... I have her forcing down 2 Ensures a day mixed with a lot of milk or ice cream. I am going to try some of your suggestions peanut butter mixed in, protein drink mixed in. She is usually about 115 lbs at 5'3"� but is now only 95. They gave her roxicet liquid, made her itch but she took it. Now she has vicodin pills so maybe that will help more. She is being so brave and I wish I could DO something, I feel so helpless but I'm strong for her.

I know I need to wait for the test results, but I can tell by the change in 3 different doctors demeanor after they used the camera that it is really not good at all. She has told me adamantly that she is not having the surgery, but she will do chemo and radiation. She means the tongue out. I haven't gone into how much worse it MIGHT be...that's the part I will leave to the dr. I have explained about you all and how I feel SO much better after reading your posts about so many recoveries...that it WAS extremely hard but now so many can talk and eat and are happy. She says NO. I can't relate to that at all but then I'm not facing it.

Should I keep trying to convince her? I mean, I know I have to wait for after the tests and the percentages, but after that? Has anyone here been talked into not giving up? I know she doesn't like her life but since she can't drink now, I thought maybe she'll stop completely and her life could change, right? I'm sorry this is so long. I guess that is my question....has anyone else been convinced to have the surgery and been glad of it?

Thank you for all your help so far. You all seem wonderful.