I am so glad to see this section for selfish reasons I guess. After Jim died and I went back to work, I realized I didn't have anyone to talk to as this site was for the people with cancer and caregivers and family going through the process. I was at such a loss for "what to do now".

My person was gone, cancer wasn't in my life in a physical form, but it took the love of my life from me. I couldn't figure out who to talk to during my lunch hour - Before he left, I was always reading and perusing on this site during lunch trying to glean information to take home with me and tell or help Jim with what I learned. No more was that necessary - - - I needed someone to understand my grief, my loss, my overwhelming sadness...no one could fill that for me...no one like OCF.

I didn't want to come back here...but once a member of the club, always a member. I worked really hard to put me back together, different, but together. I found a young widows site (if you can call 50 young), but it just didn't seem like anyone really knew me and Jim - not like OCF, so I never posted, but just read.

So today during my lunch, I allawed myself to drift back to "when he was here" and I logged on today. When I saw this section, I was relieved and happy - it's like I've come back to a very familiar, but yet different place. No longer am I posting PET results and asking questions about controlling pain....now I am a part of the "life does go on" club in spite of what has happened. Good things did come out of all of this - most importantly, I was blessed to have taken care of a wonderful man that I loved very much and who loved me. I learned that life can change on a dime and don't take one day for granted.

Thank you Brian for allowing this section - I'll be back more to help and to be helped as life really does go on.

Hugs and Love to all of you,
Paula