Hey Paul... We know each other from facebook and cancer sucks. I was going to comment on what you posted there - in fact I did but lost it - very frustrating.. - I know you have a big decision to make everyone here will likely give you their opinion. But I'm going to lob mine in your direction. - recurrences are just another way of saying we didn't get it all - in dr speak. Since they have already told you that they aren't sure if they got it all this time either the do nothing option is off the table is you want to beat this. So your only other options are rads and chemo, (In your case Erbitux) or a combination of both. Chemo - Erbitux will not kill this alone. - and rads by itself is great at doing what it supposed to in the area that is within the field and spray radius - but any microscopic cancer outside that area will not be taken care of - that's why they use chemo.
It's the housekeeper that gets what everyone else missed. Erbitux is meant to work in that fashion. I totally understand your ambivalence but I think to effective treat this you need to do both.. Please ignore the other odds they are throwing your way - frankly drs never give you a yes or no answer as they never know for sure and they always tend to lean towards worse case scenario. If you flip the numbers you were quoting with regards to the carotid and nerve then that will off you more clarity I hope - that's a 90 % - 75% that you won't end up with the nerve damage or a blown artery. Still way better odds than the potential 0% that comes with a serious cancer dx. Hugs...
You will get through it.