Emily

Vent away! One of the nicest things about the OCF forum is that here you can say all these thoughts and fears. We all empathize and understand your desire to "have a sliver of my normal self/life". I'm not sure where you got your 50/50 chance of having a recurrence but that strikes me as very high. At your age and considering your diagnosis & TX, IMO your odds are much better than that on keeping the cancer in remission or NED (no evidence of disease).
I've never been a fan of non alcoholic beer myself for the same reason you gave - just did not see the point. Also Remember that most mouthwashes are manufactured with an average 26% alcohol content. Beer has only 4 to 6%. My understanding is that anything over 20% alcohol is a definite no no in any amount.
Too bad we don't have the same set up as the Netherlands where there are "coffee" houses with vaporizers for MJ that recreate the social aspects of a bar with alcohol. (they are closing those down to tourists this January). One coping technique might be to volunteer to be the "designated driver" for your friends since that reason is accepted by almost everyone and would not trigger pity or sorrow or discomfort when you give that as the reason not to be drinking. But again, just ask the doctor. I really think he or she will give you the green light for a little social drinking.
There are no guarantees and many people on OCF have had recurrences who never drank any alcohol after their DX. If only it were that simple to keep oral cancer from coming back.
Charm



65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin

Passed away 4-29-13