I don't as yet have a good gauge on my husband's cancer. The ENT said very little and seemed a little surly when I asked about the stage. I'd already irritated him by asking to read the chest/abdo CT. We've only seen the rad onc once. He has an appointment with the med oncologist in 10 days.

My husband doesn't really want to know all the details about his tumor so I have been a little restrained with my questions up to this point. I am hoping once we are immersed in the cancer care system that I can ask all my questions privately. He won't mind that.

I want to know things like is it the tumor that is making it hard for him to open his mouth or is it all the dental work. Is the tumor extending into his tongue and causing it to deviate when he sticks it out or is that a nerve problem. Is the tumor the reason they couldn't do the rigid scope panendoscopy / bronchoscopy? And just where exactly does the tumor extend? Is it resectable or not?

How many positive nodes is considered a lot? I have read postings related to neck dissections and people mention x nodes removed and y nodes positive but I'm wondering how many would be considered a lot.

I forced the ENT to name it as Stage IV, I read the intraoperative biopsy report to know it is "large" and know enough to understand it is extremely serious. I'm not all that invested in the idea of getting a prognosis because it all hangs on response to treatment and there is no way to know that yet. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what would be considered a bad sign and what comes part and parcel with this type of cancer. I don't need to be carrying around any extra fears, you know?